Brian's Last Day

Ken struck a deal with his ex-wife which allows for his youngest son to move to Texas with her. We do not know when Brian's official last day in California will be, but today is the last day we will be able to see him. At Ken's request, Brian spent the last two nights with us - OK, he spent tonight with us since he went to his church group last night rather than spend the time with his father.  Personally, I don't think that Brian is fully grasping that he is probably not going to see his father over the next couple of years, but he doesn't seem worried about it.

Tonight, Ken spent some time showing Brian how to make the soda pop stove for the ultra-light backpacking. 

It so hurts my heart that Brian's mom's happiness is more important than his relationship with his father and even his own education. I have done all that I can, but while they turn to me for the information (Mom never looked into the school she was transferring Brian to, so he almost lost out on AP classes in Texas), they blame me for everything. Apparently, the boys would all have a great relationship with Ken if it wasn't for me, his "new little wife" and her "bratty girls."  

There is no guarantee for what the future holds, but I know that my dear husband will hurt not seeing his sons. The eldest is busy in college and trying to figure out his future, but spending time with Mom is always the priority over spending time with Ken. The other two do not make the effort. Sadly, Ken's brain cancer will take him sooner than any of us want. What will the boys do when that happens? This time is precious and can't be replaced.

I so hope that the girls and I are enough for Ken. Cognitively, I know that the girls and I aren't truly to blame for what happened, but it stings nonetheless.

So, best wishes to Brian, and I certainly hope that things don't go as badly with his mother's new soul-mate as they did with the last one. May he still actually qualify for the Cal-Vet tuition waiver even with a Texas high school diploma. In the event that Ken and I were correct, I certainly hope he doesn't try to blame us or condemn us for not "fighting harder." We didn't have the money for the evaluation just as his mother didn't. He said he wanted to go, and he refused to 1) ask his mother to stay here or 2) live with us, so we had very little choice in the matter.

Best of luck to everyone involved.

Drama, drama, drama

What a busy and stupid day. Today was the first day for students to return at work, so I had a LOT of things to get done to get ready. Sadly, because there have been so many changes in what and how I do things, I'm still a bit behind the 8-ball.

Ken, on the other-hand had an entire day of drama. His ex-wife has spent the last 3 1/2 years working to ensure that their sons do not want to spend time with him, that they favor her over me, that they hate me and the girls, etc. She has done an excellent job of this, and she was wonderfully calculated during Ken's cancer treatment to take advantage of that situation.  Well, now she has met Soul-Mate #2. She met Russell last year and they started dating long distance - he lives in Texas. I also point out Soul-Mate #2, well, because she said that last guy was her soul-mate, but their marriage didn't last a year. So, she started talking to Ken about moving to Texas, and despite so many reasons why she shouldn't go, she informed Ken she was going anyway, and Brian was "forbidden" from living with us, so he was going to.

Since Ken wasn't getting anywhere in trying to talk to her, he had to file in court to keep her from moving. Today was the post-Mediator report hearing, and ultimately, the judge ordered Brian to stay, and we all get to go through a 730 Evaluation, etc. 

Ultimately, it comes down to this: 

If Brian stays in California - he gets to remain in his AP classes, he is able to attend the local Community College for $1.00 per unit plus books - which gets waived under the Cal-Vet/GI Program, and with a California High School Diploma, Brian will have the opportunity to attend any UC or Cal State school tuition free because Ken is a 100% Disabled Veteran.  With his grades the way the are, he should also qualify for scholarships to help with the cost of books, housing, etc.  

What a deal, right??

Well, the mother thinks that her happiness is more important AND she really hates to work, so moving to Texas will allow her companionship, someone to help with finances and she won't have to work so much - so she says. She doesn't think that staying in California for two more years is that important. She has claimed that she and Brian are aware of the risks, and they're willing to make the sacrifice.  Um, she won't be making any sacrifice - Brian will.

It has been an ugly battle, and I'm being filleted in court by her. A trial has been set, but because the Mother couldn't keep her mouth shut nor tell the truth, Brian was remanded to California pending the trial. 

When Ken called Brian yesterday to wish him a happy birthday, he learned that Brian was having a Birthday/Going Away Party since he and his mother were planning to leave "right after court tomorrow." Wow! That was news to Ken! The mother tried to say that she couldn't wait around for court because she had "pressing appointments" but Ken's attorney pointed out what Brian said, and she reluctantly told the truth. The judge was NOT pleased with this information. 

Seriously!! You don't actually have permission to move, but you think you can just go? Wow!

There was a lot of drama at the courthouse, and from what I heard, the Mom is really not happy that Ken and I learned of her fiance's legal problems. His Probation Meeting on Monday should be interesting with the new warrant for his arrest that was issued last week.  

So, the Mom is totally pissed because she was packed and ready to go start her new life in Texas which is allegedly going to be so much more wonderful than her life here, and they will have stability and a great Christian family, etc.  Whatever!  

Ken may lose out because Brian has chosen to spend so little time with us because apparently, we are supposed to do all of the changing and it doesn't matter that he was the one that changed, but at least Ken has fought for his best interests. If the kid goes to Texas, the day will come that he will be royally pissed off to have to pay college tuition, and at least Ken can say he did everything he could to prevent that problem.

Serious Vent....

Last month, Ken received a text message from his ex-wife, Sheryl.  When he saw it, he was initially grossed out and then disturbed.  The message stated, "Good morning lover of body.  Sure can't wait to feel your lips, your body and hands all over mine."  Well, it's rather difficult for her to keep saying she never has premarital relations when that's a text message she sends to someone.  Ken was driving his youngest son, Brian, to school when he received the message, so he casually asks Brian who his mom is dating.  At the time, Brian answered she was seeing no one.  After reading the text message, Brian admits that she's been talking to some guy in Texas.  


So, Ken started texting back to find out what was going on.  Sheryl was initially embarrassed that her text went to the wrong person, but then everything else became evident:  Sheryl found a new man was trying to keep the relationship a secret so Ken wouldn't "make trouble" for her with the boys and in Court.  During the Christmas dinner we hosted with Sheryl, I tried to get more information, but she stood by the fact that this was her soul-mate and she "deserved to find happiness."   


My questions to her at that time was that she has a tenured teaching position meaning that she cannot be fired from her job short of committing a felony.  She owns her house free and clear because of her father, and then she's planning to dump Justin and leave him here and drag Brian off to Texas to be with her all because she 'deserves to find happiness' and I even reminded her about the boys' ability for the Cal-Vet tuition free college education. None of that sank in.  I even tried to explain our concern for the boys because of her last marriage which was a wreck.  She said that it didn't really ever exist now and they had to move forward - not look at the past.


Sheryl went to Texas to be with this man, Russell Lockhart, and when she returned, she was now apparently engaged and is planning to move in June.  


Ken has spent most of this week trying to reason with her.  Obviously, if Sheryl moves to Texas, that makes life a bit easier on us - we never have to see her again unless she shows up to her sons' activities here, etc.  However, Ken pulled the Cal-Vet and UC/Cal State residency requirements which shows that 1) I was correct in my statements and 2) the boys can lose their free college tuition until they're 24 if she moves.  Sheryl demanded to be "primary parent" when she needed the child support money, and we tried to explain to her 2 1/2 years ago that the boys' future depended on her decisions for their college.  Well, Ken finally had to tell Sean and Justin what was going on because she refused to listen, and then she spent all yesterday fighting and arguing with them and then Ken.  Justin complained that her entire argument to Sean on the matter was, "Well, don't I deserve happiness??"  Well, as a mom, um, NO!  She can find happiness when it doesn't strip the boys of their educations!  Ken and I have never saved for the boys' college because it was paid for.  We know that Sheryl will NEVER put her sons' financial needs above her own and pay anything towards it.  The best Ken could get out of Sheryl, finally, was that she would stay until Brian graduates in two years, but "not a day more."  Ironically, the boyfriend has two children and he won't leave Texas because their mother won't let them move, but her sons just have to do without.  


I have to say, my all-time favorite moment was when she screamed at Ken, "Well, other kids have to make due, so I guess our sons will just have to join the ranks and take out student loans!" 


Holy F***ing Crap!  That's her response to her son's futures!  I spent most of this week trying to re-figure out my educational plans since both parents have to be California residents.  I had told Ken that I was resigned to the fact that I would stay in California if it meant his sons would get their free college tuition.  Keep in mind that my girls do not get this benefit because Ken is unable to adopt them because of their father.  Unless the children are the natural or adopted children, they do not qualify for this.  So, in considering all of the information, and that I was willing to sacrifice for his sons, you can imagine my anger at her refusal and selfishness when she kept stating that she would NOT stay until they were each 24 years-old or have their Bachelor's degrees because her happiness is more important.


Sheryl made some seriously rude comments about me and my daughters throughout these conversations with Ken and I am sad to admit that at one point she got to me.  She called Ken and our home "immoral" which set me off!  She has constantly told the boys that because Ken and I lived together before we were married that we were immoral, etc., but that she had never done anything like that.  Um, Sean was born out of wedlock, she was pregnant with Justin before she and Ken were married, and then there's the many affairs she had while married to Ken and the subsequent men after the divorce.  No, she's not immoral by her own standards....F**K!  I started shouting and spouting off this crap and she heard me.  She finally backtracked and said that everyone on Earth is immoral, but she's forgiven.  Holy crap Lady!


What made this worse, is that Sean just isn't realizing that this is his future she is looking to screw over. I understand each of the boys is only concerned with themselves, but when Ken told Sean about her statement that they can "join the ranks," Sean reverted to his, "I didn't hear her say that so I'm not going to take sides."  What the hell??  Take sides in WHAT??  This is between him and his mother; not an argument between his parents.  He can look at the documentation that Ken sent and make his own decision, but God forbid these boys take a stand against their mother and do what they need to for themselves.  


By the end of the night, I was a mess.  Here I was killing myself trying to rethink my own future on behalf of these boys who still don't give a shit about me or even themselves.  I started kicking my own ass for being so stupid.  I lament their futures and their choices.  They are stuck in a bad path because of their mother.  Sadly, I remember these feelings and problems in dealing with my own parental unit, but here I was trying to help and it was for nothing.






As a side-note, Ken spoke with Sean this morning and we learned that the new guy, Russell, told Sheryl that she needed to stay in California if it means her boys go to school tuition free.  Kudos to him!!!

Jury Duty

You can imagine my happiness at receiving my notice in the mail for jury duty.  Oh yeah!  What excitement was going to be in store for me??  I punched in the phone number and asked for an extension because the original date was during my Winter Break, and I had absolutely NO intention of spending any of my time off in the Courthouse more than I already had to do to because of the Family Court matters.  


So, I get a postcard in the mail last month with my new court date - yeah, two weeks after the original.  So much for a 3 month extension.


I have been having a hell of a time at work lately, so I figured the day doing something else would be a good change.  My stitching supplies were checked at the door, and I had to return them to the car because of the small scissors and the stitch puller.  Holy crap!  I was able to take these items on a plane but not the courthouse??  Thank God I had my iPad as well. 


My panel was the last one in there.  The first panel was dismissed because their case came to a settlement agreement - lucky bastards!  The other panel was called into the courtroom by 10 am.  We, however, got to sit there and sit there and sit there.  Normally, I would not complain that I was sitting and reading, but the chairs were horrible, and I was truly in need of more coffee and not able to get it.


At 11:45, we were notified that our panel was being released for lunch but asked to return at 1330.  Ugh!  Again, I don't mind spending a day reading a book, but those chairs were so very uncomfortable!  Luckily, I had texted with Ken, and he was already on his way to pick me up and go to lunch together.  I would have met him for lunch, but I actually had a supreme parking location and did not want to lose it.


Ken and I went to the local Coco's for lunch, and we enjoyed catching up with one another.  We have totally been spoiled over the last two years with me working at home, and suddenly I was spending an entire day away.  That just wasn't going well for me or with Ken for that matter.  During our lunch and discussion, I absently reached for the ketchup.  When I looked at the bottle, I was amazed by what I saw.

I made Ken take a moment to look at it, and even he stopped.  We both thought it was great that Heinz had take the time to write those labels.  It's just ketchup, but what a great message.  


I hated having to go back to the Jury Room especially since it meant leaving Ken.  Of course, by this point, I would have completely preferred to be at home reading than in the jury room.


At 2pm, my panel was finally called to the courtroom.  It was for a criminal trial, so my curiosity was piqued.  The judge apologized for the delay and then went on and on about how necessary jurors are in this great system and thank you for patiently waiting, etc.  

OK, so the jury I was being selected for was for a gun charge, specifically, Criminal charge of possession of a firearm in a vehicle. I had many questions because if the pistol was unloaded then it was only a misdemeanor and then there's all the questions that follow that, how was it being transported, etc. But, I wasn't there to ask the questions. 

On a side-note, I am telling EVERYONE I know to NEVER have to go to trial in the High Desert. Out of the 46 people on this panel, I was the only one with a Master's Degree, there was one working on his Master's, 5 with a Bachelor's, a couple trade degrees, a couple Associate's degrees but 23 of them had not graduated from high school. Yeah, there's NO way to get a jury of our peers here.

So, I'm on the second set of people interviewed, so I hear the questions from the judge and both attorneys. When I sit down for my turn, I answered I had lived here for 10 years, I have a Master's Degree, Husband of 3 years is retired, blah, blah, blah. Judge asks if we have friends/family who are cops - yes, 3 in SB alone, family and friends elsewhere. OK, do we have any membership affiliations with guns one way or the other? Yes, I'm a lifetime NRA Member and an active member at the Apple Valley Gun Club. I'm the ONLY one out of 46 who had any affiliation either way. 

The Defense attorney has NO questions for me. I know and he knows that he wants me on this jury. The Prosecutor was going to test and see if I was impartial. "So, Ms. Koehler, you have a Master's Degree but you're also part of the NRA. I can tell you're educated and study so I'm perplexed. What would have you supporting gun rights?" I answered, "Well, I enjoy the sport of shooting and have done so since my youth, and I enjoy the right to protect myself, and with so many wanting to remove my right, I have no choice but to align with a group that will protect that right even to extreme." 

The Prosecutor thought that was a well thought out answer. Then he asked me, "But, you have to agree that laws are put into place to keep us safe, and even if you don't agree with those laws, then you still have to follow them and write your congressman or someone to change the laws, right." I smiled, "Yes, whether or not I agree with the law or feel that it's asinine is not the point. As a responsible adult, member of the community and gun owner, I follow the laws of my Town, County, Stated and Nation. That's how it's supposed to work."

He went on to others for a while, and then came back at me. "Again, Ms. Koehler, I just wanted to be sure that even if you cannot agree with a gun law, you still feel and understand that you still have to follow them." At this point, he's testing me, so I tested right back, "Yes sir, but now I wonder if you're speaking of California Gun Laws or Federal Gun Laws." He asks, "Well, what's the difference?" I responded, "Um, do you imply that you do not know the difference between the two sets of gun laws or that we should follow the laws no matter if they're State or Federal?" 

The Prosecutor falters for a moment, regains his smile, and states, "I can see why you were confused. No, I meant that I did not understand why you would ask about the difference between State and Federal gun laws." To which I replied, "Well, seeing as you're prosecuting a gun charge, I would seriously hope that YOU would know the difference."

The other jurors giggled, as did the judge. The Bailiff was sitting forward listening now rather than paperwork as were both of the clerks. The Prosecutor was not happy. "Please, Ms. Koehler, enlighten me with even just ONE example." The Bastard was not even 6 inches away from me leaning on the table. 

So, I took the gauntlet and ran because I still haven't learned to use the sensor button on my mouth yet.

"Well, you are familiar with the Brady Bill, correct?"

He answers, "Yes, that's for the Waiting Period to purchase guns."

"Yes, that's correct. Mr. Prosecutor, what IS the waiting period to but a gun - you should know since you said you own some.:

"It's 10 days."

"Yes, that is correct in California, but not under the Brady Bill."

The Prosecutor chuckles to himself, and if the man could have patted me on my head, I'm sure he would have.

"Oh, Ms. Koehler, EVERYONE knows that the waiting period is 10 days. You're mistaken."

"And this is why I'm concerned you're the one prosecuting a gun charge. I can say it's a good thing you're familiar with CA laws and he was arrested in CA, but the Brady Bill does not state 10 days. Mr. Brady was in the employment of the United States and was attached to the president. Unfortunately, a man who was previously convicted for a felony and prohibited under our laws from even touching a firearm managed to somehow GET a firearm and attempted to shoot the President which also hit Mr. Brady. While it is sad and tragic, it shows that if someone wants to get a gun badly enough they can. However, Mr. Brady's life experience caused him to make it difficult for law-abiding citizens to get a firearm, so there's the background checks and Waiting Period. However, the Brady Bill only calls for 3 days for each firearm. California was the one who said, 'I'll see your 3 and raise you 7" so we have a 10 day waiting period. Now, it's the law-abiding citizens who have a waiting period, not the criminals mind you, but this is your one example of how the Federal Law is different than the State."

The lady next to me who was saying she hated guns, had never held or seen one, and was afraid of guns, went, "Hmmmm. I never thought about it all like this before." And that's when I knew I would be gone. I knew the DA was going to make a case on bias against guns with the first series of people he kept.

I was the 2nd person excused by the DA on that round with his "thanks."  Sadly, I wasn't dismissed until 4:45 pm.  What a waste of a day. Of course, I did get through most of an entire new book, so that was good.  

By the time I got home, Justin had actually come over.  What a major surprise. That child hasn't been in our house more than 4 times in the last 12 months.  I was amazed he actually showed up.  Ken had spent time discussing things with him regarding gun physics, and whatever.  I started asking him about his plans when his mom leaves for her "happiness."  I probably should have waited and let him settle in with me, but I had a feeling I knew what his plans were, and he just didn't have time.

Sadly, I was again right - Justin is planning to get "emancipated" and then stay here and live in his mother's house.  Holy shit!  I started explaining to him the difference between an "Emancipated Minor" and an adult.  He was not aware that even if he manages to convince a judge to emancipate him, he still can't vote, buy his cigarettes, etc.  He won't be an adult.  He and his mother hadn't thought about that.  I made sure he knew that his mother would still be collecting child support money for him while she's away and he's left to survive on his own to which he became upset.  He didn't know she was still going to get money for him, and yet he was facing paying utilities, homeowners insurance, bus fare, go to college all while not being able to find a job.  Then Ken and I made sure that Justin understood that the GI Bill money comes AFTER he completes school - not before. Justin thought he would have money as soon as he starts school and because alarmed to find out that he wouldn't.  Then we asked what he was going to do when he didn't receive GI money during his Breaks.  

Justin started to panic - as well he should. I did my best to explain to him that even if he hadn't screwed up his life, there was no way for him to be prepared for all of this at this stage in his life.  I asked if his mom was going to pay off the utilities or would he have a balance, was she going to ensure he had food, etc. and he said that he didn't know and it was supposed to be up to him to take care of everything - including his grandmother.  Justin does not realize how much help his grandmother needs and there will not be any way to attend school, work, hang out with friends if he is listed as her caregiver.  He was also not aware of this.  

Unfortunately for him, Justin left last night with more questions than he knew how to answer and in total fear of his future.  I reminded him that his mother has sole physical custody and until he's 18, her residency affects his.  He wanted to argue, so I told him to look it up on his own.  

Sheryl's unending selfishness never ceases to amaze me.  I have asked her to inform me if she plans to move to Texas to be with the new Love of Her Life so I can make informed decisions about Law School for her boys if necessary, but she tells me it's none of my business about her personal life, and she has it all figured out - she'll keep Brian with her and then send him back to us just before graduation.  Funny!  I tried to ask her how she was going to do that if we moved for me to attend Law School and I got, "Oh, I didn't think about that."  Then I reminded HER that Cal-Vet doesn't guarantee if residency is interrupted because of the custodial parents who are fucking with the Veteran and then returning the children to gain the benefits.  I told her that the Veteran's Administration has caught on to this little trick and they don't like it.  Hopefully, she'll let us know what to expect by the end of the week as promised, but I've made Sean, Justin and Brian at least think about things so they can make informed decisions.  

It was a crazy day!!  I was so glad to crawl into bed and fall into complete exhausted sleep.

Court - yet again

Ken and I got to the courthouse in early June to handle Jackass' request to have extra summer visitation.  I was wondering how this would go when he hadn't taken any of the visitation that he was allowed.  My attorney and I were really tired of the emails from him complaining that the judge "took his rights away" by ordering the Professionally Supervised visits, and we had them in the courtroom for the judge to see.

Well, it turned out not to be an issue.  Jackass didn't show to court again.  This time, the Judge didn't continue my case, she kept everything as ordered and removed my case from the calender.  This is the first time in 4 years that I am done!! 

I have no doubt that he will file to get his visits reinstated as he lost his evidenciary hearing to prove the Mediator's report was wrong, but for now, I am done with court, and he has a permanent order for Professionally Supervised visits on two Saturdays per month - that's it.  Whew!

What a week!

Whew!  I am so glad that I was able to sleep in and get some rest.  It has been an eventful week, and my poor body and mind needed the rest.


It is no secret that I am still fighting my ex-husband in court.  It has been a nasty battle, but the girls are in the middle of this.  I fought him two weeks ago in court in order to get the Court's permission to take the girls on family trips this summer and force him to change weekends with me since he wouldn't do it.  The Judge allowed it, and the girls were excited we can take them on these trips.  Then, the Mediator report came in.  This was the mediation that he demanded because he felt that I was unreasonable to only offer half of the girls' summers instead of all of it.  The Mediator recommended that he return to professionally supervised visits, so we went to court on Monday, and the judge enforced the report. 


On one level, I am completely relieved that the girls will no longer have to be subjected to his complete bullshit when they are with him.  On the other, I cannot believe that this is the way he is behaving with his daughters.  He notified me today, that there is no way he can afford the supervised visits, so he will not see the girls until he can demand this restriction be lifted.  Really?  He's never paid child support or contributed to the girls' care, but he can't find the money to see the girls?  How sad for them!  They have always felt that he doesn't care about them as much as he does about his eldest daughter, Cheyenne, but he just keeps reinforcing that to them - they are not his priority.  My frustration enters because Ken wants to adopt the girls and relieve their dad the financial burden while still allowing for visitation, but he won't do it.  Ugh.


To add to my emotional upheaval of the week, Taylor has officially started her "change."  I know she will initially be embarrassed that I included that here, but it has to be told.  I have watched her  body start to develop over the last year, and lately, her head has been completely spinning.  I knew it was hormones, but I so hoped that we would have another year before everything officially started.  Oh well.  Here it is, and my daughter is now officially a young woman.  


Taylor called me from school and informed me that she felt something was wrong.  She completely forgot every conversation we have ever had about this, and once I started asking her questions, she remembered them.  When Ken and I got to the school (we had to turn around as we were on our way to Barstow), she said she was calmer because she now remembered everything.  Haha!  Apparently, she was surprised in the bathroom and it scared her causing her to scream loudly and scare every little girl in there.  Luckily, she has a great best friend who calmed her down, and Kendyll told her to call her mom.  


So, Taylor is now carrying her purse everywhere and it is completely "set up."  Some of her friends were wondering what happened since she returned to school after lunch and she had disappeared from class suddenly.  When Taylor went through the office door, Ken heard them whisper and then two of the girls shouted, "Oh that's gross!"  And so it all begins....


Now, I'm going to get ready to attend the birthday party for the son of a former student.  I am really hoping that I will have the necessary down time I need to relax, but I say this wish knowing Ken and I are going to take the girls to the Renaissance Faire tomorrow.  Haha!

Mediation

I had to pick up Taylor and Mandy from school early today in order to take them to the courthouse to talk to the Mediator.  


Over the last week, I did everything I could not to discuss it with the girls - I didn't want them more worried about life anymore than they already were, and I hate that they are stuck in the middle of this nightmare with their father.  


Having already talked to the Mediator myself, I have been a wreck wondering if the Mediator really believed me or if he was just trying to make me comfortable because he thought I was lying like most everyone.  


Well, the girls went to see him today.  Mandy immediately became upset at the idea that she would have to deal with the Mediator. She asked me who wanted the Mediation, and I honestly told her that her Daddy C wanted mediation.  Taylor has not wanted to see Casey in over a month due to some fight they had that she won't talk about.


After 25 minutes, the girls came back out.  They told me that he never asked any questions about me, but he only wanted to know about how they got along with their dad, etc.  I tried to not ask them questions or ask them what they said, but the girls told me anyway.  They said that they had no problems talking to me about it since they knew I wouldn't get angry with them for anything they said.  


The girls spent the next 15 minutes telling me everything they said and how they felt about their visits.  They told the Mediator what they wanted in their visits and what they felt about their father.  


All I can say at this point is that I sincerely hope that the Mediator not only takes the girls at face value and reports it all to the Judge, but that he doesn't think that I influenced them at all.  I have worked very hard to make sure that I don't speak ill of their father in front of them, and that I do not influence what they think and feel.  I have always done everything that I can to help them to have a relationship with him, and it kills me to see him hurt them the way he does.  


Well, here's to hoping that the court system actually works in their favor for once in 4 years!......

What a Week!

Monday and Tuesday were rather quiet.  I got some stitching done, spent time with the girls other than getting on them about cleaning their rooms and homework - I mean, actual time with them.   The stitching is going well.  I'm actually getting somewhere:

Then, I spent most of yesterday at the VA in Loma Linda for all of the tests that my doctors ordered.  Again, I have been a little worried, but there seemed to be no reason for a high liver panel, so the doctors wanted to check all the internal organs and be sure.


I started the morning in Ultrasound where I spent a little over an hour having my stomach probed and prodded in order to get the right pictures of everything. I couldn't help but laugh when I kept hearing that I had the "most beautiful internal organs" they have ever seen.  I asked about getting a card or a letter of reference from them but there's apparently never been a request like mine.  


After I got done with Ultrasound, I went around the corner to the CT area.  I was asked about my allergy to shrimp, and when I explained how fast I have reactions, the tech had me wait while she called the doctor.  I apparently could have been pre-medicated to help with the iodine reaction, but since my reaction is so very bad, they decided that I should never have contrast with a CT Scan.  


So, I finished the CT Scan very quickly and then went into a "Focus Group" to help with the new Women's Center that is being established.  It was pretty cool to listen to many of the women veterans that are served there, and they enjoyed having some information from a "spouse."  I don't get all of the benefits at the VA that Veterans get, but I cannot complain about my medical care - it's better than the private insurance treatment that I had forever.


When I was finished with all of my appointments, I went to see the nurse that handles my area.  She pulled the results for me, and I learned that there is "nothing remarkable" about any of my internal organs.  Everything is the way it should be!  


So, that was one major hurdle down.  I have been emailing with one of my doctors, and he said that there is definitely nothing "sinister" causing a bad blood test result, so he's going to see if anything else needs to be done, otherwise, I'll just plan on a new blood test in June, and we'll see what's going on then.  


Ahhhhhhhhhh......some relaxation after so much stressing out.  Then, I managed to keep myself from falling apart all morning in anticipation of today's court hearing.  


After three years (exactly 36 months to the date), I was finally going to have a hearing to "prove" the domestic violence against my ex-husband and work to get permanent orders for child custody, visitation, and support.   Well, while I was getting ready, I got a phone call stating that the judge was cancelling all of the afternoon appointments.


Unbelievable!  So, I went into court in order to set a new date.  Ugh!  He had his certificate showing that he finished his anger management class, so we had to create a new stipulation to allow for the unsupervised visits to start this week.  I can't get child support ordered, but he's getting his visits, so I guess the legal system is working.  Whatever!  


So, I will get back to the family after the virtual ranting, and hope that good things come out of this.