When I was in my teens, I remember asking my grandmother, my mom's mom, where she was, what she was doing, how she felt when she heard about the bombing of Pearl Harbor. I was dumbfounded when she said that she didn't really remember everything - that what struck her the most about that night was that the cow had gotten out and put her head in their window. What?! I tried to get her to talk about her feelings - what went through her mind when she heard? That kind of thing. I don't remember all of the details, but I do remember thinking that this woman could not possibly be truly human if such an occurrence happened and it didn't cement itself to her mind and heart.
Unbelievably, America was attacked in my lifetime. It's not something that I ever thought would happen. I don't think anyone thought it would happen again - ever. But it did. So, on September 11, 2001, I was in Lucerne Valley with my ex-husband and two little babies. Taylor was almost 2 and Mandy was only 5 months old. I was getting the girls' their breakfast while they were watching Clifford on PBS. I received a phone call from a friend, and considering it was so early, I figured something was wrong. She told me to turn on the news, and she was screaming that the World Trade Center was gone. I thought she was losing her mind, and I made a joke, "What? Like a David Copperfield kind of gone or what?" She then got pissed at me and screamed to turn on the news. She hung up on me, and so I went to change the channel. What I saw was so horrific, and I just sat down on the floor and stared at the television.
By the end of the day, I was an emotional wreck. My ex-husband had refused to wake up and felt it wasn't important, so I had endured the day relatively by myself. I learned about the attack at the Pentagon and the plane that went down in the field. I suddenly learned about Al-Quaida. I had never heard of that group before; the only thing I had learned about was Islam and while I wasn't a fan, the Koran spoke of love and peace. What did America do to these people that they plotted and terrorized us like this?
Over the years, I have learned more - more about the people who caused this devastation, my Country's input on ignoring the warning signs, etc. There will always be the conspiracy theorists and those who speak of just moving on and not hating those that caused the damage.
Personally, I have never trusted anyone or any religion who not only insists that their religion is the only path to heaven - my mother was Mormon, and I've had my fill of that mentality. I also cannot trust a religion that will kill people who do not convert. I'm disturbed about the killing of Christians in northern Africa that occurred a few months ago simply because they refused to become Muslim. America was founded on freedom and education. We call it tolerance now, but you are supposed to be free to be who and what you want to be so long as you don't infringe on the rights of others.
The Attacks on 9/11 is what spring-boarded me into adulthood. I was 31 years old when it happened, but I hadn't totally grown up yet. I still had my blissful American ideology and naivety. The world shrank very quickly, and my outlook changed with it.
So, I gave pause yesterday morning and reflected all of the people who needlessly gave their lives. I prayed for the families that are still healing. I said thank you to the men and women who risk their lives daily for my safety, and I held on to Ken quite a bit. He went to war during the First Gulf War and is still dying because of his service. I didn't know him when this happened, but he and many others like him fight for our freedom everyday.
When I felt I had paid my tribute, I tackled my job. Things are so crazy with work, and I'm angry that all of the work that was done over the summer was for nothing. All of the best laid plans, policies and procedures have gone out the window, and I barely have time to eat let alone do my job fully and well.
After 6 straight hours, I shut down my computer and walked away. I couldn't function anymore, and there was no way I could tackle tomorrow's to-do list. I went and finished the piece I was working on, and I love how it came out.
Ken wanted the alone time with me last night, so we went out on the back patio to enjoy a cocktail and a cigar. It's a great routine we have. We are able to relax, and it's time where we can talk and catch up on what's going on, work out things that need to be done, etc. There was a lot of lightening over the eastern ridge, and it was cool to watch while we talked. I made Ken take a picture with me, and then I died laughing when I saw what he did.
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