Well, since I chose to put myself "out there," I have to spend the time and acknowledge the denial letter I received. No one likes to admit failure, and I am no exception to that. It was during this process of attempting Law School that I discovered I had never failed at anything professionally before. I became very nervous about what I was doing in applying to schools. I have no idea what these schools are looking for in an applicant! I'm totally outside my comfort zone now.
So, the disappointment in myself for receiving my first rejection letter last night really hit hard. I think the worst part was that it was a school I really thought would accept me based on their need to prove themselves as a Law School. So, denial one out of eleven possibilities. Thank God that Ken was amazingly supportive of me.
Honestly, I think that was what hurt the most - feeling that I had let Ken down. He spent the last few months telling anyone that would listen that I would be able to write my own ticket, and that he knew I was going to get accepted anywhere. Feeling that I let him down really made this first denial letter hit hard.
Thankfully, Ken finds me amazing no matter what, and he consoled me and helped me to piece my ego back together quickly. I'm a firm believer that "everything happens for a reason", albeit, sometimes I would REALLY prefer a note that it's OK for now and a small hint of the plan. In the long run, I have to continue with my current job and life and see what happens. C'est la vie has to be more than just a saying right now - it has to be my mantra from now until I hear back from the next ten schools.
I'm lucky that I actually have a job - so many do not and especially in my area. I have a home and a husband who (seriously) thinks that it cannot get any more perfect than it is with me.
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