Jordan discovers that English sucks

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDFQXxWIyvQ

For anyone who has gone through my American Lit class, you will remember the very first day of school.  I go over the syllabus, my classroom rules, and then I explain that English is the most screwed up language on the planet, so it's not your fault if you haven't done well prior to my class.

This was a very effective way to start the school year with my students.  Most of them believed me after a while, and despite numerous parent phone calls concerned over my statement about the English language, the students not only did well throughout the school year, but they actually learned American grammar, etc.  I always loved to use some of Gallgher's routine that I linked here.  It was effective while funny, and you actually learn how silly English really is.

So, this being said, I am working with Jordan, my 6-year-old on her homework that she forgot to finish yesterday.  Part of her assignment is a book report.  Yes, book reports must be done in Kindergarten.  That's another rant that I can make another time.

She and I finish reading the book together (Disney Digital Books are awesome! http://disneydigitalbooks.go.com/homepage.html)and then it's time for her to fill in her report.  As Jordan is copying down the title of the book she read, "Ariel's Dolphin Adventure," she asks me about the "ph" in Dolphin.

"Mama, why is is spelled D-O-L-P-H-I-N when is sounds like D-O-L-F-I-N?"

"Well, I'm sure there is a reason that "ph" was used rather than the "f" but the "f" sound is made when "ph" is put together.  Another example would be "phone."  Sorry, Toots!  You just have to learn the difference."

"Yes, but Mama, if it's spelled D-O-L-P-H-I-N, then it should be sounded to 'DOLP-H-IN.'" Jordan made the /p/ sound and the /h/ sounds separately.

I tried to reason with her over this, but she just didn't get it.  So I went with my 11th grade English class lecture, "English is a screwed up language."

Jordan's comment was simple and concise, "If they want me to spell dolphin but make it an /f/ sound, then they should just use an "f" instead of "ph."  Jeez!  Do I have to do everything in this world for it to work right?!"