Jealousy Amoungst Sisters

Jordan brought home a permission slip for GATE testing last night. Upon seeing it, Mandy went into Beaker Mode.

Let me explain "Beaker Mode." For those of you old enough, there was this really cute show on television in the 1970s that we would wait for every Sunday - The Muppets.  One of the characters, Beaker, was the lab assistant who only said, "Mee, mee, mee" in a high, squeaky voice.  The more excited or upset he got, the higher the pitch.


Yes, that's Mandy when she gets upset.  There are times her pitch goes so high that only dogs can hear her, and the sound seriously attacks an adult's nervous system.  So, to cope with this awful sound, we have taken to calling her Beaker when she gets like this. Even if the other parent isn't around, all we have to do is say, "Mandy went into Beaker Mode" and the other parent then hears the story with the appropriate sounds in their head.


So, to resume the story, Mandy is incredibly upset that Jordan has been referred for GATE testing. Mandy believes that she is ready for the GATE program: She is smart, she does all of her work, she's a thinker and problem solver (yeah, only at school because we have not seen this at home), and she has been asking about the GATE program for a couple years now.  Her last teacher told her that she was ready but Mandy never received the recommendation.


After listening to Mandy whine and complain about ALL the ways that she was better for GATE than Jordan (which, by the way, they were logical and clear arguments - if you could hear words past the Beaker speak), I stopped her and had her calm herself down.  It took a while for her to get back to Mandy, but she finally did, and I sat down with her, and explained things in Real-World context.


Mandy does really well when you give her the "why" and the "how."  I explained about being able to get a promotion or get the "client" at a job, and how if she knew she was capable and deserving, then she can't wait for her boss to come to her - she would have to go to the boss with her reasons all detailed out, and then bug the shit out the boss until she gets it.  This worked for Mandy! Suddenly, no more tears or whining (Thank GOD!), and she sat down to develop her argument so she could argue her case to her Principal.  


A little while later, Mandy came to me with some questions, "What if the Principal says that I HAVE to have a teacher refer me? What if she says I didn't meet the rubric?"  Those were good questions, and I answered them for her.  Find out what the rubric criteria is so you can work on it; tell her about how there's only two "favorites" in the class this year, so you don't feel your teacher will do the referral, etc. Mandy was much better after our conversation and definitely calmer, and then she went to tell Jordan what she was in for in regards to GATE.


My favorite part of eavesdropping on the conversation was listening to Mandy go into great detail about what she heard was on the GATE testing, how the classes were going to go and hinting at the "prestige" of being in GATE.  Jordan listened to everything her sister had to say, and then simply said, "Yeah, if I get in, I get in.  It's no biggie."  


Hahahahahahaha! Jordan is totally blase about this, and Mandy feels that her very existence depends on it. Mandy contained her temper tantrum and stomped out of the room muttering about Jordan just being a "waste."  When I peeked in on Jordan, she looks up at me, shrugs her shoulders, and goes back to getting ready for bed.