Ken's Cancer.....Stable!

Saturday, Ken received his disc from the VA with his MRI scans and results. He called me over to his office where he showed me that the disc had arrived. We looked over the disc, and I cannot begin to explain my relief when I read that there has been no change in his brain tumor. Oh, holy mother of god!! The tumor is the same size: it hasn't grown, it isn't moving, it is stable and status quo!!!

He had the MRI on Wednesday, and I started to fall apart from the stress. The radiologist made a comment while Ken was in the machine after hearing his history, "and he's still alive?" I was not able to hang in there any further. I started welling up with tears, and started getting horribly mushy and stressed that I was going to lose Ken.

Every day, Ken and I go through our days as though nothing is wrong. We very rarely discuss his cancer or impending death. We make jokes about The List and make jokes about Ken's lack of memory, but that is about it. We make sure to love each other unconditionally, deal with our disagreements and arguments so we do not stay angry with each other, and we worked hard to raise the girls as best as possible - to instill responsibility, love of family, and love of life.

So, every year when Ken goes in for his MRI to check the tumor, I become a mess. Each passing year that I get to keep Ken is priceless to me. At the same time, we are getting another year away from Ken's treatment. The magic number for brain cancer is 10 years. We are now at 3 years. What are the chances that the cancer will start to grow again? What if it starts growing fast and we don't catch it fast enough?

So, Ken and I are sitting next to each other in his office and looking over the report and comparing it to previous reports. The tumor is the exact same size. It has a different coloring to it than 2009, but it appears that it is possibly because of the radiation. 

I read and re-read the reports, and then throw my arms around Ken and I held on tight! What a great blessing! I say it every year, but I get to keep him!!